BambooHR Study Reveals Top 5 Workplace Deal Breakers [Infographic]

BambooHR Study Reveals Top 5 Workplace Deal Breakers Infographic BambooHR Study Reveals Top 5 Workplace Deal Breakers Infographic The study of more than 1,000 U.S. employees revealed that more than money, people desire the opportunity to improve themselves via career advancement and to have a healthy work-life balance.The infographic highlights the top 5 deal breakers employees listed in the survey1. Your boss doesnt trust/empower you2. Work expectations during off-time3. Difficult co-workers4. babo blames you for mistakes5. Work is not flexibleThe study also showed the differences in deal breakers between men, women and by age group. For example, 29 percent of women viewed working during off hours as a deal breaker compared with 18 percent of men. And having a lower salary is annoying to 52 percent of those ages1829, while this number steadily declines as employees get older.The infographic also notes other situations that annoy employeesManagement is less aware of the industry th an you or your team (82%)Lack of recognition (82%)Co-workers being promoted faster (78%)Subpar benefits (74%)Employees must be valued and respected at work while maintaining a healthy work-life balance or they wont stay at a job, the infographic explains. As long as employees pressing needs- empowerment, flexibility in the workplace and fair wages- are met, theyre more willing to tolerate lesser annoyances.

Survey These are the top office stress factors

Survey These are the top bro stress factorsSurvey These are the top office stress factorsRecent research ahead of National Stress Awareness Day on November 1, fromcompensation, culture, and career monitoring siteComparably, shows that the top cause of stress cited by 42% of employees is unclear goals.Looks like some workers really feel like they could use more direction even more so than these other factors commute and bad manager followed (both at 16%, respectively), then difficult coworker (14%), and too long hours (12%).The report also pointed out something dire Rates of erschpfung are nearly the same for employees of nearly every age, with 48%-50% of employees saying they feel burnt out at any given age.The research is based on more than 88,000 responses from employees at tech companies.Here just some of the findings that stood out.Heres who expected to work during their time offComparably found that more executive employees than any other type say their managers expect them to be in office mode during their vacation time.However, the report also pointed out that about 21% of workers in tech say they now have unlimited paid vacation and sick days. Thats significantly higher than workers outside of tech, 9% of whom say they have unlimited paid time off.For employees, these benefits are a top priorityWorkers really value their time off.Comparably found that when respondents were asked to pick what benefits they valued the most after health care, vacation policy took the cake at 31%.Flex Time was not far behind, with 30% choosing this option, followed by 401k contribution (29%), office meals (7%), and childcare (3%).Three ways to handle stress work throws at youHere are a few steps you can takeDont get involved in all that office dramaRemove yourself from the situation before you snap in 321.This gives you a mental escape route before doing something rash.In a world of meetings, meetings, and more meetings - plus toxic colleagues - sometimes you need to slo w things down and take a breather.Take a real vacation - without emailYou might need to check email a few times on vacation, but if you want to remember your trip, back away from your inboxResearch shows that responding to messages and other work taskson vacation wipes out the good memories youve made.Be mindful on your commuteBlock everything else out byfocusing on where you are.Stay in the moment - and the moment only - whether its in a car, on a train, or on a bus.

How to Groom Like a Successful Businesswoman

How to Groom Like a Successful geschftliches miteinanderwomanHow to Groom Like a Successful BusinesswomanDressing for success includes a lot more than just choosing the right outfit. To complete your professional look, you must also consider accessories and personal grooming.How you present yourself to otzu sichs can make or break a job interview, or even cost (or help foster) you a promotion at work. Dressing for Success and Employer Dress Codes Your appearance is your employers appearance.That is, how you present yourself at work is a direct reflection of your employer as well.If the environment is conservative, regardless of your flair for style, you may need to adapt your look to fit into a conservative corporate environment. You should always dress to impress clients, investors, and customers because a winning sales pitch is not enough to seal the deal. A womans professional appearance needs to support her professional accomplishments and not show off the wrong assets. One o f the simplest, yet best bits of advice regarding dressing for the workplace is probably the most obvious know the dress codeof your employer If your geschftliches miteinander attire is distracting others (you want them to look you in the eye, not the chest bursting out of a too-tight shirt or daring neckline) because it is too sexy, drab, or colorful, your business contacts may focus on how you look, not on your business skills. Perfumes, Scents, and Odors in the Workplace Do not let the first impression you make about yourself be your personal scent preferences Avoid wearing perfume and heavily-scented products in all business settings. You might like them, but they have no place in a business environment. Scents can trigger asthma, overpower a room, and are often more offensive than pleasing to others.You probably already know that many business places are smoke-free, but some are also now going scent free.If you are not sure, ask your human resources representative if there are any unique requirements about the workplace dress code. And speaking of smoke-free environments, never smell like smoke (if you smoke in a car, your clothing will always pick up the odor) when going for a job interview.A strong smell may distract the person interviewing you from focusing on your skills if all they can think about is how you smell. How to Present Professional Looking Fingernails and Hands Women often use their hands to talk with, so they become a focal point. It is important to have hands and fingernails looking professional. You dont want them to look like you are heading out for a wild night on the town. Nails should be clean and trimmed or sculpted. Avoid wearing unusual or shocking nail colors. Nail art and nail jewels are not acceptable for business meetings. Hairstyling Tips for Business Women Style should be neat and conservative, and preferably off the face. With few exceptions, hair color should not be shocking or unusual (leave blue hair for Hal loween). Hair sprays and gels that have a strong scent or odor should be avoided. Business Makeup Advice Keep it simple and appropriate for daytime. Wearing no makeup at all is almost as bad as wearing too much makeup. Appropriate Jewelry for Business Women Jewelry should not be noisy (no metal bangle bracelets), too large, or costume jewelry that is gaudy. Keep earrings small, simple, and above the earlobe. It is better to wear no jewelry at allthan to wear too much jewelry, but all business women should at least wear a nice, conservative wristwatch. Closing Thoughts Demonstrating that you care about your appearance communicates to the person you are meeting with that they are important to you. Paying attention to the details of your appearance sends a message to others that you will also pay close attention to business details, and the needs of your customers and clients.

5 Women Who Rock the NFL

5 Women Who Rock the NFL5 Women Who Rock the NFL5 Women Who Rock the NFLThe National Football League (NFL) may not be just a mans world anymore.Is therbeibeibeie anything more manly than the National Football League (NFL)? Giant men demonstrating their physical prowess by knocking each other senseless seems like the stuff of testosterone-filled dreams. In this macho sport, there may have been a time when NFL could have stood for Not For Ladies, but that time has passed. In todays world, women also love the gridiron game, and theyre increasingly becoming a parte of it by taking on roles in this $14 billion industry.New rules established by the NFL have helped open minds to the idea of women joining the game. In 2003, the organization instituted the Rooney Rule to encourage the hiring of minority candidates for head coaching and senior operations job openings. In 2016, Commissioner Roger Goodell announced that a new Rooney Rule would be established requiring teams to interview women fo r executive positions, ensuring that women get their fair shot as well.Women have been a part of the NFL for decades and theyre picking up steam. herbeie are five of the most influential women to work in the pigskin paradise.Connie Carberg First Female NFL ScoutWhen your father is a team doctor for the New York Jets, its inevitable that football is going to be a big part of your life. That was the case for Connie Carberg, whose childhood consisted of watching sports, playing sports, and occasional dinners with Football Hall of Famer Joe Namath. It may not have been the norm in the 1960s, but Connie could talk the game as well as any fan her age regardless of gender. In 1974, with a new college degree in Home Economics, the New York Jets offered her a job as a secretary.Her job had her making notes on game footage and players to such an extent that when the Jets needed to add another traveling scout to their team, General Manager Weeb Ewbank (yes, that was his name) proposed the un thinkable Why not promote Connie to the position? She was practically already trained, after all.She scouted college players and helped the Jets decide who to draft for several seasons. In 1979 she pointed them to Mark Gastineau who went on to be one of the best players in Jets history. Her stint as an NFL scout only lasted a few years, but it was a remarkable feat considering it was the mid-1970s.Katie Blackburn Executive Vice President, Cincinnati BengalsKatie Blackburn is another woman with close ties to football her father owns the Cincinnati Bengals. She got a law degree but found her career leading her into the world of sports. She started out in the front office of the Cincinnati Bengals in 1991 and worked her way up to eventually become the first female primary contract negotiator in the NFL. Her law degree and familiarity with contract negotiations prepared her for the job and she quickly gained a reputation as a tough-as-nails negotiator. Now she is the Executive VP of t he team and is expected to grab the reins when the current president retires. She also is the chair of both the NFLs Diversity Committee and the Super Bowl Advisory Committee.Sarah Thomas First Female Full-Time NFL OfficialSarah Thomas got her start in officiating like most do she worked in high school games and eventually got the attention of Gerry Austin, Conference USAs coordinator of officials. He invited Thomas to an officiating camp and realized that she had everything it takes to be a great football official. From there, she began working in the college ranks, and by 2009 she became the first woman to officiate an NCAA Division I bowl game when she took the field at Little Caesars Pizza Bowl. She went on to become part of the NFLs officiating development camp and in 2015, she was hired as the NFLs first female full-time official.She was the end zone line judge when the Pittsburgh Steelers LeVeon Bell pushed through the pile at the buzzer for a game-winning touchdown in 2015 . It was a close play filled with drama, but Thomas called the score and replay confirmed it. It was her Welcome to the NFL moment.RelatedWomen in the Workplace How to Get Past the Glass CeilingJen Welter First Female Coach in a Professional Football LeagueCan NFL players really take direction from a female coach? Yes. Especially if that woman played rugby in college and football professionally. For Jen Welter, football is life and shes broken a few barriers in her day. She was the first woman to play a contact position (not a punter or placekicker) in a mens professional football league when she played for the Revolution. What did she play? Only running back. Wait, what? Yeah, she had three rushes for -1 yard, but thats beside the point. They trusted her to run with the rock. Thats pretty impressive. She was also the first female coach in a mens professional football league when she became the linebackers coach for the Texas Revolution in the Indoor Football League the next season .In 2015, the Arizona Cardinals announced that theyd hired her to be an assistant coaching pro domo for the preseason. Tyrann Mathieu, the Honey Badger, took a liking to her after they exchanged stories about their nicknames (hers was Spider Monkey). Her stint working in sports was short-lived since it was just a preseason internship, but she left a big mark.Kathryn Smith First Female Full-Time Coach in the NFLDid Jen Welter open any doors? She must have, because in 2016 the Buffalo Bills announced that theyd hired Kathryn Smith as their full-time coach for special teams quality control. What does that role mean? Head Coach Rex Ryan told the Buffalo News that A lot of that goes with the tough things. Doing all the computer stuff, doing all the drawings, all that type of stuff. So, frankly, no one really knows.Smith started working in sports in 2003. She worked gameday events as an intern with the New York Jets and then went on to become a college scouting intern in 2005. Smith held a couple of other positions before joining the Bills in 2015 as an administrative assistant. Her duties had her working closely with several of the coaches and when the time came, the organization decided she was the best fit for the new opening.Are these the only women working in the NFL? By no means. Many women are working throughout the league in a variety of positions, and there have also been several female team owners. These five may be the most influential women in the game, though, and the lead blockers for many more women to gain meaningful roles in Americas favorite passion, NFL football. During Super Bowl Week in 2016, the NFL held the first NFL Womens Summit with the intention of advancing womens roles in sports, so look out for more women on the field and behind the scenes.Click on the following link for more advice on getting ahead in your career.Could your resume land you a job in the NFL? Find out with a free resume critique.Recommended ReadingTop 10 Professions Dom inated by WomenHow to Close the Age Gap and Earn the Salary You DeserveLeadership Lessons Kids Who Motivate Us

Networking Your Way Through a Career Change

Networking Your Way Through a Career ChangeNetworking Your Way Through a Career Change10When it comes to job searching and making your way through a career change, I have yet to meet a person who says it is easy. Most people start by poking around on job boards and then throw together an application when they see a too-good-to-pass-up opportunity. Most people also find themselves frustrated and defeated because after several zugnglich applications(sometimes hundreds), they come up empty handed.Dont fall into this trap Networking needs to be part of your transition strategy, especially if you are making a career change, and I will tell you why.First, are you even making a career change?Did you know that the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) does not collect data on how many times people change careers because there is noconsensuson what constitutes a career change?Is it a change in occupation, industry, or both?How dramatic does the change need to be to warrant special transition strat egies and tactics?Are you a square peg for a round hole?When it comes to applying for jobs, the farther you are outside of what employers are expecting to see, the less likely you will see success from your online applications.With the advancements in applicant tracking software systems (the software that collects your online applications), employers are able to sift applications based on a wide range of criteria. If you are anything other than exactly what they are seeking, your application may never even be seen by human eyes.Figuring out what a specific employer inputs as the search criteria is the mystery that every job seeker is trying to solve. Although applying online is a very common job transition strategy, you are wise if this does not constitute all or even most of your time searching and applying for jobs. Using your network is a great way to be successful through a career change.How to network your way through a career change.Even for job seekers who are in line with em ployer expectations, networking is often a critical piece of a successful job search. In addition to keeping your eyes on the job boards and applying online, you should spend time networking.By networking, I am not talking about cold transactional interactions, I mean building meaningful professional relationships with people. The types of relationships that are beneficial for both people. A relationship that does not end when one person gets a job. A relationship that leads to referrals and I want to make a quick call and see if I can connect you with As you decide how to divide up your time applying online versus networking, let me leave you with ansicht final numbersDuring the 2014 National Resume WritersAssociationnational conference, the keynote speaker presented statistics on hiring probabilities for qualified candidates. The data showed that those who apply online only have a 1.2 percent chance of being hired, whereas those who are referred by someone internally have a 20 per cent chance of being hired.Based on thoseprobabilitiesalone, how are you going to spend the majority of your time making your next career change?Looking to change careers? Start your job search hereMichelle Aikman is the founder and lead consultant of Skilled Assets, a premier career management and corporate consulting business. Shes also one of only 38 Nationally Certified Rsum Writers worldwide. The NCRW is the premier industry certification upholding the most stringent standards for quality in mechanics, strategy, and formatting. With extensive in-the-trenches experience navigating the job market as a military spouse and engineer, she is an advocate for the military community and people with complex situations like major career changers and people with paid work gaps. Michelle promotes proactive career management and strategic career transition techniques so people can have the type of work that is truly fulfilling and fits with their life. She also works to transform the hiring market, helping employers recognize, capture, and retain high-value talent who are often overlooked for all of the wrong reasons. Find Michelle on Twitter and LinkedIn.

Aux Resume Now Tips

Aux Resume Now Tips Gossip, Lies and Aux Resume Now When you list the data employers want to see, then you are likely to have the most suitable quantity of succeeding. This is parteicularly true where the workplace is not anywhere near the workplace. You have to have five goal statements. CUPE workers take a mean of 15. There are a sizable number of columns to to show and the complete list is offered in the man pages. All you need to do is browse the online website and produce your free resume post. Dont neglect to switch out the information in ansicht types of samples with information about yourself Examine the man page for the comprehensive list. The hiring manager wishes to understand if youre able to do the job. If you prefer to be given a terrific job, you call for a cv that employers want to read. Recruiters have a fairly terrible reputation among UX designers. For example, if the organization is in an amazingly competitive field, you will need to reveal in your cv that youre in a position to assist them achieve a larger ratio of growth in their market niche with your specified abilities and successes. To verify it if the procedure is operating, run ps command. Youre able to pause the running processes at any moment, and resume them later, without needing to start all of them over again. The wget process was stopped. Display the top five processes consuming the majority of the cpu. It may be used to display all threads of a specific procedure or all processes. The first procedure that is owned by root is the principal apache2 procedure and the rest of the apache2 processes are forked out of this major practice. So find innovative approaches to do your task and its going come to be even better. At this time you can do other crucial tasks. Aux Resume Now at a Glance It is not quantum physics. At the conclusion of your internship, you will have relevant experience to assist you decide whether a career in Culinary is the proper al ternative for you. And any work gives you invaluable experience. You are able to build it for free but you must pay to really get it after doing all of the work. By working at home you save on several hidden costs related to going to get the job done. The desire to take part in household matters since youre at home is often very strong. You may right now start looking for a work seated comfortably at your distinctive house. You could end up dropping your absolute best people whenever you arent careful rather than have everyone to grow the organization. At the outside, you may need to manually decide on the right auxiliary input. In this instance, it needs to be the one youre wrongly calling an AUX cable. Balanced lines and differential signalling are frequently used together, but they arent something similar. Digital signals also have their benefits and disadvantages but they arent really comparable to analogue because you are sending digital information between devices. In these instances, swap can provide you an additional delay to discover what happened, or to finish what youre working on. Thats the reason why we must aid them in any assignment. A lot of the work is done independently, therefore its important in order to meet deadlines and make sure that the event and its preparation take place on-schedule. Much like any cancellation, it can be of assistance to find the name of the person you speak with should any issues arise later on. Even when you have plenty of RAM and even if youve got a very low swappiness value, its possible your computer swaps. Since Bluetooth also comprises a profile for streaming audio, it was just natural that car stereo manufacturers would begin to offer that option also. I managed to code the car myself after buying a unique cable and downloading the program. As soon as your phone and auto stereo have found each other, you will typically must input a quick passcode which will enable the 2 devices to successf ully pair. Aux Resume Now Can Be Fun for Everyone At no point does this say youll be charged until after youve done all of the work. Objective has turned into the most important part of an effective resume. It is once a person is certainly not influenced by personal vistas. An objective may be brief declaration that describes your goals about the kind of work desired and the way in which your skills cause you to an excellent fit. Insufficient communication and messaging thats misleading. This app is simply recommended if youve got an Alexa or Echo or whatever. LinkedIn does offer a quality that you might be acquainted with, Export to PDF, which does in reality export your profile for a PDF. LinkedIn also provides a feature you may not be acquainted with, via their Labs, called ResumeBuilder.

Food For Thought Surviving A Day In The Office

Food For Thought Surviving A Day In The Office Food For Thought Surviving A Day In The OfficePosted April 26, 2013, by Andrea Riddell If youre anything like me, you plan your working day around your mealtimes. And, if youre exactly like me, there is a direct correlation between hunger and lack of productivity. So, for the sake of my job and my colleagues, Ive mastered how to tame the hunger beast on an hourlybasis, while trying not to get schreibstube fat. Brekkie To sustain a 9ish-hour day, your breakfast needs to consist of mora than a double shot macchiato. Dont be fooled by the appetite suppressant qualities of caffeine Your brain needs more sustenance to power through all those emails - theres a reason they call it the most important meal of the day. You cant underestimate the power of a great breakfast We recommend Nothing beats a muesli/yoghurt combo to start the day. The texture of the muesli (even better if its toasted) alongside the creaminess of the yoghurt will excite yo ur tastebuds into a frenzy Add some fruit if you feel like living on the edge. Snacks, snacks and more snacks Snacks are quite possibly the most important part of your hunger-busting repertoire. You can never quite tell when youre going to be ambushed by a serious case of the munchies. The trick is to keep them on this side of healthy and obviously not your favourite-snack-of-all-time, so youre forced to exercise self-restraint every day. Theres no point buying a months supply of rice crackers if youre going to polish them off in one sitting. We recommend Its a good idea to make or buy snack packs to get you through at least a week of work. Some ideas crudits, nuts, cheese and crackers, fruit, or celery sticks and peanut butter. The lunchtime rush There is nothing more depressing than a cling-wrapped sandwich for lunch that was squashed in your morning commute. Lunch should be an exciting reminder that youre halfway there and will be going home in a matter of hours. A satisfying meal will also help keep the 330 Cookie Monster at bay. We recommend If youre hard-pressed for time to make inspiring lunches at home, here are some super easy lunch recipes you can whip up in the office with just a microwave and a sandwich press. Bonus - they were invented - and tested - in the Career FAQs office kitchen So there you have it all my tips to keeping sated at work. You can thank me later. ResourcesMy first resumeCover letter for my first jobCareer Insider StoriesShelley Lask - Body Positive Health & FitnessInterested in becoming a?Human Resources OfficerGeneral ManagerBusiness ManagerAccountantOffice AdministratorPopular Career Searcheshow to ask for a day off last minutecareers in food productionhow to ask for a day off on short noticesick leave letter for one daypersonal day off email CoursesBachelor of Social WorkEnquire Online Enquire OnlineCertificate III in Health AdministrationEnquire Online Enquire OnlineBachelor of Criminal JusticeEnquire Online Enquire Onl ineCertificate III in Allied Health AssistanceEnquire Online Enquire OnlineAndrea RiddellRelated ArticlesBrowse moreCareer inspoPop cultureBefore they were famousTake a look at what some famous faces were doing before they started making their millions.Charles Sturt University (CSU)International studentsBoKyung Kim - South Korean International student, Charles Sturt UniversityHave an open mind and accept the Australian culture and nature. Then you can enjoy the relaxed, friendly, natural lifestyle.EntrepreneurshipWOMENThe search for Australias next top businesswomanThe search is on for Australias next top businesswoman as the 2010 Telstra Business Womens Awards open today for nominations and entries.

How to Check References and a Reference Checking Format

How to Check References and a Reference Checking FormatHow to Check References and a Reference Checking FormatChecking job or employment references is time-consuming and frequently unsatisfactory, as many employers, despite legislation that provides protection for references, refuse to offer more than dates of employment, salary history, and job title. Secondly, if youre not careful, each reference check can turn into a friendly chat during which you dont obtain the information you need to make an objective decision about hiring your candidate. If you have the opportunity to reach your candidates manager, you are likely to get better information that highlights the candidates skills and contributions. Talking to Human Resources rarely yields the kind of information that you need to make a hiring decision. Many companies today, because of the fear of potential lawsuits, have adopted policies that state that HR must respond to all reference checks. These policies also forbid managers a nd employees from talking with a candidates hintergrund checker in a background check. Who Should Check References? Reference checking is often relegated to Human Resources in organizations. Thats not who should own reference checking. The manager of the lage should check the employment references. He or she has the fruchtwein to lose if the needed skills andcultural fitdont work out. The managers feel for the viability of the candidate is also key to the persons eventual success as an employee. The managers support of and belief in the candidates ability to successfully perform the job form the foundation for the persons eventual success in your organization. Sure, Human Resources can own the reference checking process,check references for entry-level jobs, andcheck the candidates list of prepped references. But for most jobs, the manager of the position is the best person to check the references of former and current employers. This is especially true for talking with past emp loyers and the candidates former bosses. The manager knows the technical qualifications a candidate must bring to a position. The manager knows the appropriate questions to ask the current and/or former employer about the candidates work. The manager can listen for statements that indicate cultural fit and that the strengths listed match the strengths you need. Before you turn your managers loose on reference checking, however, training in how to check references is required. Your managers will range from talented interviewers to tongue-tied professionals unable to ask the appropriate questions without your training, coaching, and mentoring. Since you never get a second chance, particularly with the candidates former manager, doing it right the first time is paramount. And, this training needs to include how to reach the manager, how to bypass the HR office, if possible, and how to help the reference open up and communicate to you about the potential employee Use a Standard Forma t to Check References As with most Human Resources processes, a standard reference checking format is useful. You can easily compare candidates and ensure you are asking the right questions to make an educated decision before offering the applicant a job with your company. Dont check references until you are ready to make an offer to a candidate. This saves staff time and demonstrates your respect for the candidate. After all, you dont know whether his current employer or her favorite professor even know that he or she is looking for a new position. (It ispreferable thatcandidates tell their employer, but realize this isnt always possible, or even desirable.) Here are the recommended format and sample questions that you can use to check references. Make sure that you verify that the candidates reference checking permission signature is on your employment application before starting the interview. If its not, ask the candidate to sign the application before you check references. Thi s is recommended as a precaution so employers are legally and ethically safe. Name Reference Name Company Name Company Address Company Phone Dates of Employment From To Starting Position Ending Position Starting Salary Ending Salary What does your company do? Please describe your reporting relationship with the candidate? If none, in what capacity did you observe the candidates work? Reason for Leaving Please describe the key responsibilities of the candidate in his/her most recent position. How many reporting staff did the candidate manage? Their roles? Tell me about the candidates most important contributions to the achievement of your organizations mission and goals. Describe the candidates relationships with his/her coworkers, reporting staff (if applicable), and supervisors. Talk about the attitude and outlook the candidate brought to the workplace. Describe the candidates productivity, commitment to quality and customer orientation. What are the candidates most significant str engths? What are the candidates most significant weaknesses? What is your overall assessment of the candidate? We are hiring this candidate to (job title or quick description). Would you recommend him/her for this position? Why or why not? Would you rehire this individual? Why or why not? Are there additional comments youd like to make? Is there a question that I should ask that I may have missed that will help us understand what this candidate potentially brings to our workplace? Is there anything else we should know to make a hiring decision about this employee? Thank you for your assistance in helping us make a hiring decision relative to this candidate.

How to avoid jealousy and envy from poisoning your life

How to avoid jealousy and envy from poisoning yur lifeHow to avoid jealousy and envy from poisoning yur lifeTo speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves. - Will DurantMother, what is water? - asked the baby fishWater is what you swim in. Water is what youre mostly made of. Its everywhere around you. - the mother fish replied.But I cant see it. - said the baby.Lifes most precious things are like water - they surround us, yet we dont see them.Do you see what you have? Or simply pay attention to what other people have, achieve or the recognition they get? Thats how envy and jealousy get into your life - rather than appreciating the water around you they bring out the worst in you.Jealousy and envy are related though are not the same - they are two different types of poison.How envy and jealousy harm youJealousy is no mora than feeling alone against smiling enemies. - Elizabeth BowenEnvy and jealousy travel together but are different emotions - both are negative and can make you feel miserable and ruin your relationships.Envy is a two-person relationship I want what you have. Jealousy is a three-person triangle I want the recognition you have from others.When you wish you have your colleagues office, thats envy. When you feel threatened by how much your boss praises one of your colleagues work, thats jealousy.Envy is resentment toward other because of their possessions or success. You idealize when you are envious. You dont just want what they have you want their stature too.Jealousy is when a third person threatens a relationship - you are afraid to lose someone you love in the hands of other.Jealousy is an anticipatory emotion as Ralph Hupka said. Jealousy causes us to take precautionary measures. Should those fail and the partner has an affair, the new situation arouses anger, depression, and disappointment. the Professor of Psychology at California State University added.Jealousy and envy are natural instincts. However, you can manage how you react. Both emotions mask other feelings that can become lethal. They hide our insecurity, shame or need to possess - they feed our inner-critic making us feel worthless.Envy is a reaction to lacking something Jealousy is a reaction to the threat of losing something or someone.A painful ancient symptomBoth jealousy and envy originate from the primitive fight-or-flight response. When you feel under attack, your brain triggers a warning signal.Our tribal ancestors lived in fear of arousing the envy of the gods by their pride or good fortune. Heras envy for Aphrodite set off the Trojan War in Greek mythology.Jealousy and envy are still the cause of most current conflicts both in the professional and personal world.Envy drives to self-sabotage causing wars and others conflicts. It typically becomes a group phenomenon, and turns to hatred and assaults against others, as Frank J. Ninivaggi explains on Envy Theories.We have a false sense of justice - our system emphasizes the eq uality of all. Thats a curious paradox the sense that we deserve our fair share of things is at the root of envy.Life is not fair. There will always be people with mora talents, health, possessions or reputation than yourself. Entitlement doesnt help - thinking that you deserve better makes you focus on the outcome rather than on the effort.Jealousy originates from the prospect of failure envy from actual failure.To let go of these two negative emotions, we must thoroughly understand where those feelings come from. And stop seeing yourself as a failure.We create our own poisonEnvy is the religion of the mediocre. It comforts them, it soothes their worries, and finally, it rots their souls, allowing them to justify their meanness and their greed until they believe these to be virtues. - Carlos Ruiz ZafnBuddhism teaches us that whatever causes our suffering has its roots in the Three Poisons Ignorance, Hate, and Greed.Ignorance is the mother of all poisons. Its the belief that things are fixed and permanent. When we see that someone is doing better than us, rather than focus on how we can improve, we get stuck on the current status.Thats why comparisons are deceiving theres always people that are better and worse than us. When we compare, we see things as static. We look outside (what others have) rather than inside (what we can change).We create our own poison and then drink it.Ignorance is clinging to people, objects or emotions. We dont want things to change. Its the desire to protect our idealized status. The antidote to ignorance is wisdom - self-awareness can free yourself from poisonous emotions.Hate arises from ignorance. We believe the world revolves around us. We want to stand out from the universe instead of seeing our connectedness to everything and everyone else. Our society is a system - when we disconnect from it, we start seeing everyone as a competitor or an enemy. Envy and jealousy are just defense mechanisms.Greed is not just wanting more - its the fantasy that adding more stuff will provide personal gratification. Unfortunately, delusion creates a vicious cycle. Not only it frustrates us we crave for more. Greed is also based on your need to protect your status - you believe that objects define who you are.Attachment motivates envy and jealousy. You cling to things or relationships you dont have - you want to be in control to feel more important.Bertrand Russell said Beggars do not envy millionaires, though of course, they will envy other beggars who are more successful.We direct our envy at those whom we compare ourselves such as your co-workers, friends, relatives or neighbors.Social Media has not only expanded the beggars you compare to its an accelerant that turns envy into a wildfire. A picture-perfect society is doing us no good by encouraging envy and fruitless comparisons.So, how can you avoid this lethal poison?The antidote for envy and jealousyIf ignorance is the mother of all poisons, then wisdom is the universal antidote. Being wise is appreciating the water around you.Wisdom is listening to other points of view rather than discriminating to carefully examine facts even if they contradict our beliefs to be objective rather than biased, and to always be ready to change our beliefs when opposite facts are presented to us.Wisdom is to directly see and understand for yourself - to keep an open mind rather than being closed-minded.Certainty can cripple your wisdom, as I wrote here. Embracing a skeptical mindset will help you see life sharply. The path of just believing what you are told is easy. The path towards wisdom requires confidence, courage, adaptability, and patience.The antidote for greed is generosity the one for hate is loving kindness.Letting go of your possessions and relationships requires wisdom too. You realized you dont need to possess objects or people to be yourself. They can contribute to your joy, but your happiness does not depend on them.Non-attachment doesnt m ean not caring - it means recognizing there was never something to cling to in the first place. You stop looking at what others have. You free yourself from owning or being owned.How to overcome being poisonedDont envy what people have, emulate what they did to have it. - Tim Fargo1. Increase your self-awarenessTo know yourself is to accept yourself. Self-awareness requires observing and accepting who you are - not who you should or shouldnt be. Reflect without judging yourself. Learn to be gentle and forgiving with yourself - youll stop needing possessions or relationships to feel greater.Are you jealous? Are you always comparing yourself to others? Deep inside you might feel insecure, frightened, betrayed or threatened. Thats okay. Feedback will help you uncover blind spots so you can conquer them.To increase your self-awareness, you need to look outside, not just inside as I wrote here. People who score high in self-awareness know themselves well and understand how others see them too.2. Free yourself from poisonous comparisonsBecome your own standard. Learn to appreciate yourself for who you are, not for what you possess or your achievements. Success is personal - happiness is defining success on your own terms.Social pressure will only make you frustrated - it seeds envy for not having more or make you feel jealous if someone gets more recognition than you do. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Focus on your improvement, not others. Comparing to other people is a lose-lose situation.3. Prevent an outbreakNormal jealousy happens early in a relationship it can be improved by improving the self-esteem of affected partners. Honesty is critical to stop early symptoms before they produce a jealousy outbreak.Keeping and maintaining trust is not easy - dont confuse it with blind faith. Embrace trust as something fragile and imperfect, as I wrote here. Jealousy is about control trust is about confidence and freedom.You cannot avoid feeling jealous, but you can prevent it from getting worse and worse.4. Emulate rather than envyLooking at others for inspiration is not bad the harte nuss is trying to be like them. Medium Staff is full of articles on how Elon Musk, Steve Jobs, or Tony Robbins became successful and wealthy. That doesnt mean you must follow their paths or aim for the same goals.Reacting with emulation rather than envy is to open up to learn from others.Each life is unique. Those who compare themselves to famous entrepreneurs end doing nothing. Choose your destination and take the learning route, not the shortcut. Copycats are boring its better to be original as Leon Ho wrote here.5. Feel the pain firsthandEnvy and jealousy are not just lethal for yourself. They can also harm those around you. Sometimes you need to take a little bit of your own poison to realize that.Let others become your antidote.If you are the jealous one, ask your partner to overplay her/ his jealous part for one or two weeks. Feeling the pain fi rsthand will help you realize the side-effects of your own behaviors.If you suffer from envy, interact with people that have dramatically less or more than you have. Live one day with a total budget of two dollars. Volunteer one night to serve at a millionaires party. Compare both experiences to see what it says about you when you experience the extremes.- - - Lifes most precious things are like water - they are around you waiting for you to pay attention and appreciate what you have.Envy and jealousy are lethal poisons its up to you to avoid being stung.Increase Your Self AwarenessReceive my weekly Insights for ChangemakersSign Up NowDownload my free ebook Stretch Your MindThisarticlefirst appeared on Medium.

The best bosses see employees as humans

The best bosses see employees as humansThe best bosses see employees as humansFormer Apple and Google executive Kim Scott broke down the two essential discussions managers should have with their employees to better understand their goals ina recently-posted Business Insider video.As the author ofRadical Candor Be A Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity, Scotts philosophy provides insight on how to strengthen your feedback skills as a manager - and some things we can all ask of our bosses.Learn about employees goals through their life stories and dreamsThe first conversation Scott suggests having is about employees lives and how they grew up, starting with kindergarten, but emphasizing pivots they made as a way to find out what drives them.Why hone in on the strategic changes your employees have made in life during this discussion?Scott explains in her own words So somebody was a cheerleader and then they became a swimmer because they really could see more results of time in the pool on the swimteam than they could as a cheerleader then you know this rolle is results oriented. You start to see whether its hard workor what not that really motivates the person but you get a much richer more textured view of the person if you understand these sort of abstractions in the context of their actual life story.But she also cautions managers not to be intrusive if employees would rather keep private how they grew up. Keep their emotions in mind.Next up? WhatScotts coined the dreams conversation, asking them about what their ideal situation would be, but not limiting them to only one. This way, managers can see things including where the employees skills currently stack up and who they need to know to move forward to those aspirations.Scott then adds specific ways managers can change employees jobs to help them work toward their dreams- even if their current position isnt closely related- including, putting them on various projects, giving them training or academic opportunities or connecting them with others.What Scotts radical candor concept meansA quadrant displayed in an explanatory video displays the ideasframework, and according to the labeled axes, it means toboth care personally and challenge directly. That means that nice bosses have to totenstill hold employees to high standards.Its a way of giving feedback to employees. As Scott urges in the video, say what you think.On the other end, there are the pitfalls that bosses can fall into. The other three parts of the quadrant are obnoxious aggression, or just being a total jerk manipulative insincerity, in which bosses pretend to care, and ruinous empathy, in which bosses care too much about employees, avoiding all kinds of conflict or challenge, and end up ineffective as a result.The website defines each one, saying that obnoxious aggression results when you challenge but dont care. Its praise that doesnt feel sincere or criticism that isnt delivered kindly.The manipulative insincerity portion is defined as when you neither care nor challenge. Its praise that is non-specific and insincere or criticism that is neither clear nor kind.Lastly, ruinous empathy results when you care but dont challenge. Its praise that isnt specific enough to help the person understand what was good or criticism that is sugarcoated and unclear.This is just part of the philosophy, but it illustrates what can happen when you dare to show employees you care, but stay honest and clear with them.As a manager, getting to know more about employees lives and dreams can help you better understand what they want to accomplish, and giving proper feedback can help both them and you in the long run.